Grocery Cart Graveyard

Where do the grocery carts go to rest, either victims of the winter mess or waiting for their various repairs?  In the back of the store and outside with the pallets.  There are three more in the waiting room along the back fence.  Some have yellow flags to indicate their injuries.  This was snapped at a Whole Foods.

Smashed Santa

 

It's the holidays!  However, this smashed-in Santa was spotted at a retail store.  While the sticker says "Product of Germany" at the bottom, I'm guessing his injuries happened after he left the shipping box and was put on the shelf.  The bigger question might be - why's he still there?  Is there a discount for pummeled imported authentic chocolate?  Also, could the bah-humbug culprit be spotted on store surveillance and brought to justice?

Loving Church Dinners

This was in a Target store.  Someone is actually making money on this - church suppers?  Maybe we'll soon find Loving Bike Seats magazine, or maybe Roof Shingle Revelry, or even Car Door Handle Chaos?  Think of your own.  The picture above is proof that you can make a magazine for anything - anything.

Wrecked Railing

Do you think this railing is useful?  The irony is, it's on property housing a retirement community - perhaps a place where railings would be particularly relevant.  Also, how many pedestrians could possibly be this tall?

Nothing Says Holidays Like "Kosherland"

Aren't holiday customs and traditions so great?  This goodie was randomly sitting on a shelf at a HomeGoods.  Nothing says "Happy Holidays" more than the Kosherland game.  It's like a holiday Candyland, except it's religious, all the food is prepared kosher and there's a gingerbread-wooden-door-yellow house.  

Well, nothing like a holiday Candyland, actually.

Crop Circles Captured

 

  

Ever seen crop circles?  They exist.  These views of real crop circles were shot using a Blackberry on a flight over Oklahoma in 2011.

Real-Life Blues Brothers

This gem was spotted in the parking lot of a Wawa store in Pennsylvania.  An authentic, one-dome-light police cruiser from yesteryear.  One might expect Aykroyd or Belushi to come out of this beauty with dark shades and leisure suits on, but no driver could be spotted. 

Vandelay Industries

This is great. It's a real parking bumper, sent to me by a friend via his cell phone. Seinfeld fans enjoy.

The Flying Car is Here for "Drivots"

Since when did a revolutionary breakthrough in personal travel that will turn the auto driver's world upside-down fly under the radar of super media coverage?

This new flying car is going to create the next generation of "drivots" - drivers who are pilots - and demand an "airways" road and interstate system that is obviously coming to us faster than we thought.

Here's the video:
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/tech-flying-car-takes-off.html.

I'll Betcha Chocolate Syrup

Make a bet, you owe a bottle of chocolate syrup. At the grocery, anyway.

When counting on the payoff from that wager on the big game, make sure you're still talking cash, unless you've got some vanilla ice cream around.

Dentist Vending Machine on the Used Car Lot?

The dentist just did his regular cleaning, which of course is covered by insurance. However, when did he become a used car salesman?

My wife had her teeth cleaned also, and during her visit she was pitched a comprehensive teeth whitening session and was even urged to visit a "buddy pal" of his to see about orthodontics.

She'd already been to an orthodontist as a kid, but before she could respond, the dentist instructed the receptionsist to quickly get on the horn with his buddy-boy to get her booked and have a copy of her films sent over. Referral, ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching.

Even the hygenist asked what samples I preferred, like the travel-size toothpaste, floss and mouthwash, which are all apparently now at a premium. I asked for Glide floss, and she left the exam room to head to the "back-up supply closet," as she put it. Geez.

Oddly, a sticker of SpongeBob was included in my bag. Samples at a premium, but still time to include the plug for the estranged SpongeBob characters gleaning their pearlies? Creepy.

Will the dentist start charging for samples in a self-serve vending machine in the waiting room, complete with indivdual SpongeBob sitckers for the kiddies for a $1 each?

Highway Trash Tree

Perhaps some of the proposed infrastructure improvements earmarked in the economic stimulus package will cover advanced highway clean-up, since I snapped this photo today of one tree among many along the roadside that featured its own plastic bag.

How long until the bag will decay lodged in the branches, and will the budding leaves in the spring absorb the somewhat weathered and rustic plastic at that point?

Drunken Eyeballs Car - Good Advertising

The drunken eyeballs car. It's part of an ad campaign from Germany that is creative and has an important message. Can't get enough? Here's another shot rounding the curve on the brick plaza apparently.

These folks couldn't get enough either.

Now, if they'd make a drunken eyeballs bus that leaves every bar around the world at closing time, we'd really have something to toast.

Your Coffee Looks Lonely

I read a slogan on the side of a semi trailer truck on Friday expounding that "Your Coffee Looks Lonely."

Great slogan. It was promoting the consumption of doughnuts, and was plastered over an enticing photographic image of a pile of powdered sugar, chocolate and plain glaze doughnuts that ran the length of the entire trailer.

Any other junk food look lonely to you?

Which is Warmer: Outside or Ocean?

The other day it was 17 degrees outside, and the ocean water temperature was a balmy 35 on the Northeast coast.

Now, one might wonder, what happens if I go swimming? Will the water actually feel warmer than the outside temperature. And, if so, how long could I go swimming for, before I would have to come out of the water, warm up in the cold air, bask in the winter sun, and then finally use a towel? This all, of course, assuming there's no wind chill factor, which would possibly eliminate the step of basking in the winter sun.

Hmmm.

Assenger Drop-Off Before the Flight

There's really not a lot to say about this, other than that I took it with my cell phone camera at a major U.S. airport recently. I didn't touch the photo - promise. Can't make it up.



Do I feel a new series of posts coming on - "Signs from the Road Warrior?"

Husband Mini-Me at the DMV

An uncomfirmed theory is brewing out there for females.

I was at the DMV the other day to get my license renewed and I overheard the customer next to me requesting something.

It wasn't the request that caught my attention, but the tactic that got her what she needed from the DMV man. In order to resolve her issue, the DMV man asked her to complete a form and have her husband fill it out with his employment information, a process that would normally take a week total to complete.

But, the customer replied, "my husband's right over there," as she pointed to a cluster of two dozen occupied standard-issue plastic office chairs in the waiting area. Her "husband" didn't wave, acknowledge, or otherwise identify himself, and I'll never know if he was really there.

The fact that her husband was "present" turned the DMV man into a wish-granting wizard, allowing him to skip the entire required documentation altogether. No husband interview, no verification of the husband's employment, or any effort to identify him. Mini-Me prevailed.

Does this mean that by simply saying that your husband "said this" or "is within a five-mile radius," that women will be served better?

The DMV Mini-Me theory. Could it be true practice?

You Scream, I Scream...for Samples

It was a sweltering day recently - in the 90s - and we went to the ice cream shop we discovered. It serves the best homemade ice cream in our part of the country - we're convinced.

On this particular visit, my wife, who was pregnant at the time, had to get there before they closed at 9 pm. This means HAVE to get there.

We thought about the trip at 8:51 pm. So, under the pressure of the ice cream attack, we flew out the door, jumped in the car, and sped on back roads through woods to arrive at 8:59 pm.

There were open! We were the last customers. In front of us, a couple was ordering, and then we realized we might miss the ice cream. Why? Because the husband - who appeared to be high maintenance - starting asking to sample different flavors as the lights went out.

This sampling guru also provided the added bonus to his wife of describing the color, texture and ingredients he could identify both visually and by taste in each flavor. An ESPN analysis of each dollop. Necessary? No.

Take the sample and let's go. The shop staff graciously served us anyway, in the dark, but samplers need to take a moment and analyze the state of the situation before deciding to request multiple samples, especially at closing time. His wife wasn't pregnant, so no excuses.

Multiple samplers. Ever been behind one, or several?

Court Reporters Have the Last Word

Bumper stickers are clever and we've all seen tons of them. So why bring them up again now?

There was one I noticed at a red light this last weekend that was slapped onto a chrome rear bumper - and I need to specify rear bumper, because people sometimes place bumper stickers in areas that don't necessarily constitute a bumper, like the back hatch, the interior dashboard, and the occasional enthusiast that decides to plaster his entire car with them in lieu of a new paint job - and it said something that I've never seen:

Court Reporters Always Have the Last Word.

Funny. One, because when have you ever seen a bumper sticker that mentions court reporters without mentioning their rather unique recording machine. Two, it's a great play on words. Three, it deviates from the overused elusions to physical shenanigans that you often see - like Alaskans Always Do It Better in the Dark.

Bumper stickers. Seen any lately?

The Wooden Iron…

Could it be? My wife and I were recently walking through an eclectic, historic and popular area of town on the way to one of our favorite eateries. Among the well-dressed suburbanites in this picturesque scene and in an area known for its intellectualism, I stopped briefly as we strolled down the sidewalk on one side of the street.

What caught my attention was a restaurant we passed that had a big sign perched at the top of its entryway, with the words “The Wooden Iron.” At first glance, this name seemed perfectly normal, and kitchy enough to spark a potential diners’ attention. However, upon further consideration, one might come to the conclusion that having a wooden iron is really not possible.

In perhaps taking this too far, a hot stoking iron is by nature made of iron. A hot iron made of wood would simply burn up. Along the same lines, a clothes iron made of wood would produce a lot of challenges, as the wood would smolder and then burn your clothes. Further, if you were to take an iron vitamin made of wood, how could you digest it?

The Wooden Iron. An interesting phrase that poses a lot of ironies.